My reflections

Background of my family.. my mum was raised as a staunch taoist, my dad i guess he believes in ALL gods. Although my mum is a staunch taoist, she doesn't really force us to do what she does. I'm glad that she actually put us is PLMGPS and there's where i actually kind of knew God there? It's always easier to teach something to a child but of course religion isn't something that can be taught. To a certain extent, you still need to expose or teach or share it with them though.. hmm ok so in a christian school, we always start a day with a prayer to God. We also have chapel which i really enjoy singing and worshiping even though i din really know who God was. I just know that He loves me very much as a kid. The chapel teacher will always try to explain some bible verses to us simply so that we can understand.

Then my sister asked if i wanna go to church when i was primary 4/5/6 actually i cannot really remember but i din go until i was primary 6. cause i was fat and ugly. HAHA i started going when i slim down to 45 kg. AND I REALLY LOVE GOING TO CHURCH. despite perhaps for all the wrong reasons which i'm too ashamed to say here. hahaha but well, i'm glad i went! Cause God sowed seeds in my heart which can never be unplucked. And all that i have learnt, stayed with me and guided in my life. Sad to say, when i went to secondary school, all the distractions around the world overwhelmed me and eventually, i only go whenever i felt like it. In any case, i love myself more than God and i disobeyed. But of course, God being a merciful and gracious God still takes care of me and is always there with me. I still pray to Him everyday to protect my friends, my families. i thank Him for all the blessings He has given me and i cry to Him whenever i'm sad and He always knows how to comfort me through ways that i can never imagine.

Then, i went to HOGC.. which is a charismatic church which spoke in tongues.. and did signs and wonders which they believed in. God said.. YOU, it's in YOU whether you know it's the truth... and it's your responsibility to find out the TRUTH. they say... God will give you the gift of speaking in tongues but hey that's not true! dont do things that you yourself dont even understand or know. If you yourself, doenst know what you're saying or blabbering.. something is very wrong! i know i was speaking nonsense and im just doing it because all my other friends were doing it. and they have absolutely no idea what they were doing too. it's just wrong. I prayed to God, i told Him to show me what is right and what is wrong. I left HOGC and i'm glad.

I went back to bethany but you see.. sometimes it's hard to fit in and i guess i just stopped attending? i wanna go back but sometimes i feel that the world outside is easier and i have friends and all being there for me. Perhaps i can try to read the bible on my own and i still trust and believe in God, i thought that would suffice. Of course, i was wrong. It's always hard to go back to church but this time, i'm determined to. and the people and pastors at Bethany Presbyterian Independent are so supportive and i just feel different. therefore, the BEST decision i made thus far.. going for church family camp 2017. I pray that God will give me a heart that want to know Him.

Sometimes, i wonder why are we on earth.. why? really just live and work and die? cannot be what....

hahaha