First Trimester is finally over and the start of Second Trimester

YAY!!! HURRAY!!!! My morning sickness is finally better at week 14 day 1 HAHAHA

like i no longer have to vomit after every meal. but i mean if i want i could? just that now i have a choice haha

First trimester is really difficult. didn't know growing a baby could be so tough.

Went to KKH just now to see the doctor regarding my OSCAR test (FTS). KKH will always recommend mothers to do the FTS first without the NIPT cause u get to scan and see the structural parts of the body to see if he/she is normal. Only when u belong to the higher risk group, then they will recommend the NIPT. However, if you choose to do the NIPT, they will ask u to do both the FTS and the NIPT together. of course NIPT is more accurate lah but also more expensive and without subsidy.

Anyway, so we went with the FTS and thank God! ALL IS WELL :) oh and you don't know the gender until week 20 if u arent doing the NIPT. but honestly, regardless whether the child is a boy or girl, you're still gonna love ur baby SO SO SO SO much. cause 1. trying to conceive (TTC) is already so difficult! like it's not a u think you want now, u get now leh. to me, it's really a blessing from God and a miracle in itself to be pregnant. Also, it's a sacred task given to you and your husband, to bring up the child well and teach them how to be a decent human being.

Tomorrow will be Week 15 yay! oh and i heard the baby's heartbeat again today AWWWW

hmm, honestly having a baby is so expensive hahaha besides the medical bills, you still got to think of the pram/car seat, baby cot, milk bottles, confinement nanny (at least 3k!), which hospital (private or public) etc etc etc etc

First trimester

yay! i'm now at week 12 and 2 more days i'll be entering week 13. Soon it will be the end of the first trimester.

first trimester is really tough for me! I feel sick everyday the moment i'm out of bed. Nauseous and the lack of appetite. i can only eat rice with soup and even with that, i'll vomit the food out. I'm just tired and restless. Feels kinda sad but the only comfort is that, the baby is growing well. hahaha
Knowing it's not easy and it's also something that i got to go through inevitably, i was just waiting for the day to pass.

At week 11, i started to feel a little better! more energy and i thought i can finally stop vomiting.. nahh bloatedness started to creep in. and my stomach can be as big as a balloon. i applied ru yi oil everyday, it really helps! so far so good! oh and i suffers from heartburn as well

week 12, i do feel more energetic but i'm still vomiting like 3-4 times a day. i feel that the food are like stones in my stomach or throat, i need to vomit to get it out. sucky feeling but what to do?
I'm also supposed to take the obimin multivitamins from week 12 onwards. this pill causes constipation! now i can only do it like once every 2 days. and the stools are black! (i wonder why) i googled they said it might be due to the iron in the pill

going to week 13 in 2 days (can't wait) going for my scans at week 13, gonna do the oscars. Pray that the Lord will bless and protect this baby. Pastor said the mother's emotions are really important as the baby can feel it too. AMAZING.

Dear Baby,

Mummy loves you a lot ok. Regardless which gender you are, i will love you and i pray that you will grow up well and healthy and be a good kid ok. Grow up well and may you have a real relationship with God too!

Love,
Mummy

Trying to conceive (TTC)

When will we ever be ready to become parents? 

I think it's a great responsibility to hold and it requires a lot of wisdom, knowledge, money and love.

Just months ago, i wasn't willing yet. HAHA i got to give up alcohol (not that i love alcohol but i like having fun with friends, just drinking, chilling and catching up) but if i were to become pregnant, i got to give it all up (WRONG, once u decided that u want to try to conceive you got to give this up too) 

Anyway so i'm 29 this year. seriously growing old. and my husband hope to become a dad by 30? so we were trying... we din get it on the first try but only got it on the third try. The thing about conceiving... it's really a miracle and tbh only God can plant and bless this child inside you. there's really nothing to can do to "work hard" Some people got it easy.. some people got to go through IVF etc etc some people they drink and they conceive? some people they used contraceptives and they conceive? hahaha the thing is, you never know and you can never plan for it to happen in your own time. 

So google said do it on your fertile period, the ovulation days etc etc or u can use like pregnancy friendly lubricant etc etc yes you got to follow their advice but this does not necessary means you will conceived. Our science teacher used to tell us when an egg meets a sperm TA DAH, they fertilised and a baby is formed and you're pregnant right? (DANGGGGGGG) WRONG. it's not so easy lor. hahaha  but i get it lah, they tell us this to prevent people from having premartial sex. so if i have any couple friends, i will encourage you to just do it unprotected. hahaha cause it's really not easy to conceive. + if you have a goal in mind... it messes with ur brain and you and your partner will become quite stress actually. and ya many will tell you, nono you cannot be stress yada yada but hahaha not that you want to be stress leh, it just happens. LOL so best is when u dont plan for it, you conceive. no stress at all. and u bo bian pregnant already hahahaha (but please make sure you're emotionally and financially stable lah) haha

oh and take folic acid daily when TTC also. 

anyway, so the month when i'm finally pregnant, actually i kinda give up already. i was like aiya have then have lah, dont have then dont have. really is NO STRESS SEX, then we got it. (WOAH THANK GOD) thank God that He din make us wait that long... it's really quite agonising you know. everytime when your period is supposed to come, you wonder if it will come or not.. when it comes, you dont know to be happy or sad hahaha then next try? one month later. everytime u failed it's like another month later... (GOSH) like play arcade you know, sorry GG, game over please try again. 

i hope that whoever is still trying.. JIAYOU! i know its not easy, just jiayou. 

Civil 2 Dinner gathering

3rd of Jan 2020

Start of work (sian) LOL The highlight of Friday was the gathering. We had yummy yummy food at beauty in the pot. Caiyi and i were very happy that there's 2 separate pot so we can order collagen soup and mala soup (mala ftw)

Next we went for some drinks and something terrible happened. lolol

Pictures speak a thousand words. HAHAHA my colleague mengchoo was too excited lah. she accidentally spilled the glass that was half full with wine on me 

This was my reaction. STUNNED 

i sat there not knowing what to do hahaha until i saw more wine were dripping from the table to my dress then i stood up. hahaha there were wine on my phone, arms and my bag hahahaha GOSH went to the toilet but nahhh realised that there's really nothing i can do to remove the stain after like 2-3 tries haha told yili, forget it hahaha went back and mengchoo was so guilty hahahahaha i told her it's fine lah i'm just sian >< anyway, she was very nice she fetched me home lolol and the guys were playing poker at my home. Koonheng said i reek of alcohol.. hmm not me, my dress haha duhhhh  anyway so i spammed baking soda and white vinegar on my dress and soak it for like 1 hr until caiyi was like eh not soak leh! HAHAHA threw it into the washing machine and waited for the magic to happen and.... DAH TAH!!! GOSH 

It's a happy ending :D

oh and i finished ip man 1,2 and 3 on netflix from fri to sat. Awesome 

2020

Told myself that i should keep a diary and note down things that happened everyday. 

So did countdown with this bunch of friends --> 

hahahaha Thank God all each of them :) 

wrong shoes!

This is too funny! I need to blog about it.

Together we went to this Japanese restaurant to celebrate Roy's birthday! Woo the food is actually very yummy! I will definitely go back! Haha

Ok.. so on the way back in the bus.. melissa was laughing hysterically which is weird right! Why?! Then mel told chao to tell me about it and he's like no. Hahaha but after that he told me he was like: you want to know ah? Look down..

TO MY HORROR.... i WORE 2 different shoes out! Hahahahaha
SERIOUSLY I CANT BELIEVE IT HAHAHAHA but whatever it was damn funny then mel finally caught her breadth and she's like look at yili too and.... LOL seriously?! She also!!! Hahahahaha both black.. LOL

So actually she found out that she wore different shoes first then she started looking around and HAHA! Omg me too. So she told chao and they were cool about it. They were composed.

Chao said: tell you a joke, look at belle shoes
Mel laughing and ask yili about it
Yili pointing at her own feet and shhhh
Mel she lost it.

AHAHAHHAH the funny thing is how can yili and chao be so composed about it. Tears will literally flowing out from my eyes it was hilarious! Then after that we told other colleagues about it hahahahaha it so funny!

Wantheng said what' are the odds of 2 person wearing the wrong shoes out on the same day?!
Hahahaha! Ok and seriously I din noticed! And the shoes actually feel damn different but still I din realized. It's so funny! Kthanksbye hahahahha

My reflections

Background of my family.. my mum was raised as a staunch taoist, my dad i guess he believes in ALL gods. Although my mum is a staunch taoist, she doesn't really force us to do what she does. I'm glad that she actually put us is PLMGPS and there's where i actually kind of knew God there? It's always easier to teach something to a child but of course religion isn't something that can be taught. To a certain extent, you still need to expose or teach or share it with them though.. hmm ok so in a christian school, we always start a day with a prayer to God. We also have chapel which i really enjoy singing and worshiping even though i din really know who God was. I just know that He loves me very much as a kid. The chapel teacher will always try to explain some bible verses to us simply so that we can understand.

Then my sister asked if i wanna go to church when i was primary 4/5/6 actually i cannot really remember but i din go until i was primary 6. cause i was fat and ugly. HAHA i started going when i slim down to 45 kg. AND I REALLY LOVE GOING TO CHURCH. despite perhaps for all the wrong reasons which i'm too ashamed to say here. hahaha but well, i'm glad i went! Cause God sowed seeds in my heart which can never be unplucked. And all that i have learnt, stayed with me and guided in my life. Sad to say, when i went to secondary school, all the distractions around the world overwhelmed me and eventually, i only go whenever i felt like it. In any case, i love myself more than God and i disobeyed. But of course, God being a merciful and gracious God still takes care of me and is always there with me. I still pray to Him everyday to protect my friends, my families. i thank Him for all the blessings He has given me and i cry to Him whenever i'm sad and He always knows how to comfort me through ways that i can never imagine.

Then, i went to HOGC.. which is a charismatic church which spoke in tongues.. and did signs and wonders which they believed in. God said.. YOU, it's in YOU whether you know it's the truth... and it's your responsibility to find out the TRUTH. they say... God will give you the gift of speaking in tongues but hey that's not true! dont do things that you yourself dont even understand or know. If you yourself, doenst know what you're saying or blabbering.. something is very wrong! i know i was speaking nonsense and im just doing it because all my other friends were doing it. and they have absolutely no idea what they were doing too. it's just wrong. I prayed to God, i told Him to show me what is right and what is wrong. I left HOGC and i'm glad.

I went back to bethany but you see.. sometimes it's hard to fit in and i guess i just stopped attending? i wanna go back but sometimes i feel that the world outside is easier and i have friends and all being there for me. Perhaps i can try to read the bible on my own and i still trust and believe in God, i thought that would suffice. Of course, i was wrong. It's always hard to go back to church but this time, i'm determined to. and the people and pastors at Bethany Presbyterian Independent are so supportive and i just feel different. therefore, the BEST decision i made thus far.. going for church family camp 2017. I pray that God will give me a heart that want to know Him.

Sometimes, i wonder why are we on earth.. why? really just live and work and die? cannot be what....

hahaha